Bates Motel

My Life in Fast-Forward

I Haven't Slept…

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    I Haven't Slept…

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      I Haven't Slept…

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      January 28, 2020

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      A+E Networks

…in 48 hours so please excuse any typos. My whole body feels weak, like I have a very thin grasp on reality. But before I crash I have to get this out of my head…

Have you ever had a crush on someone? You see him and you just know, he’s your person. You’re sure of it. Because how could someone who makes you feel like this be wrong? And it’s not just him you fall for, but the whole package; the firecracker of a mother who feels everything so acutely, and the kind under-appreciated brother. So you wait for him to get the picture. Because the picture could be perfect. If only he saw you.

And then one day he does. Suddenly you’re living in this dream world you didn’t even realize you had constructed. But as time goes by you’re thinking, gosh this isn’t exactly what I pictured. It all looks right, the players and the setting, but it feels off. And then one day it’s as if the scaffolding is crumbling all around you and you’re left asking, who is Norman Bates?

The truth is I saw a side of Norman last night I’ve never seen before, and it occurred to me that the guy I fell for was an illusion. I’d taken liberties, filling in the gaps. I was thinking he couldn’t see me, but it was me who didn’t see him. Now, I don’t want you to think that finding out Norman isn’t who I thought he was means I’m going to leave him behind. I care about him. I’m not going anywhere. And I’m so thankful to Dylan for letting me in last night. He showed such incredible strength in the face of uncertainty. I hope Norman knows how much Dylan loves him. How much I love him, too.

So, what happens now? What will be left behind when the dust settles?

And what am I going to say to him?

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