Kendra Licari’s Motivation Under Question
The intensity and duration of the cyberbullying at the hands of her mother has sparked speculation around whether Lauryn suffered from a variation of Munchausen syndrome by proxy where, rather than physically harming her daughter, Kendra caused immense emotional pain and suffering through her texts.
Even after Lauryn and Owen broke up in hopes it would mean an end to the persistent harassment, Kendra continued, sending Lauryn a message saying “his life would be better if you were dead.”
Despite these direct suggestions of suicide, Kendra said in Unknown Number that she “was not scared of [Lauryn] hurting herself.”
Bill Chillman, Lauryn’s school superintendent, said in the documentary that he believed this was a case of cyber Munchausen: “She wanted her daughter to need her in such a way that she was willing to hurt her and this is the way she chose to do that.”
However, pinning down a true case of Munchausen, or a variation on it termed “Munchausen by internet,” is complicated.
What Is Cyber Munchausen?
Dr. Andrea Giedinghagen, associate professor for the Department of Psychiatry at Washington University in St. Louis School of Medicine, tells A&E Crime + Investigation the term Munchausen by internet, as experts have coined it, could look like a parent going online and falsely claiming that their child has cancer. It differs from Munchausen by proxy since no physical harm is inflicted on the child, but it still results in an emotional reward for the caretaker when people express sympathy and offer help.
Giedinghagen, who specializes in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, says that Munchausen can be challenging to identify because you have to either witness a person making themselves or their child sick, or they have to admit to it directly.
“It’s obviously not something that you would want to diagnose lightly if there were any other possible explanation,” she says.
Munchausen tends to develop in people who cannot get attention from others in traditional ways, such as going to a friend for support when feeling sad or disconnected. If a person doesn’t know how to have their needs met around attention—or grew up in a traumatic environment and didn’t reliably receive attention—they may develop these behaviors.
“Rather than asking, you do it in this twisted, maladaptive way,” she says.
Giedinghagen emphasized that Licari’s case was anomalous, unlike most examples she has seen. She believes it’s important to entertain the idea that Kendra “did all of this just for attention.”
“Human beings all need attention,” she says. “And if someone could get in a better way, they probably would. It doesn’t excuse hurting other people to do it, but typically people with Munchausen are harming themselves or talk about something that relates to them rather than harming other people.”
Kendra mentions toward the end of Unknown Number that she was sexually assaulted when she was a teenager, and as her daughter grew older, she feared the same would happen to her.
"When I was 17, I was raped, and as my daughter was hitting those teenage years I got scared, very scared," Licari said. "I didn't want her to go through that process that I did and I think that really led to me not knowing how to handle things."
