Yesterday Was Insane

I totally ran the gamut of emotions. First thing's first: I had way too much to drink at the Bradley memorial. I woke up the next morning with a major headache. Not to mention I was lying next to Gunner at the motel — in my underwear! I can't believe I put myself in that predicament. I know I said that I wanted to make "bad choices," but maybe making bad choices is a gradual thing. I can't really go from zero to sixty in that way.

Back to waking up next to Gunner — because that was pretty crazy. I was so embarrassed that I had to get out of the room. Quickly. I didn't really know what had happened the night before, and I didn't want to find out in that moment. All my brain kept telling me was "Emma, get home. You didn't tell your dad where you were and he's probably worried sick, not to mention you possibly slept with a boy. Get home NOW!" The situation escalated when this disgruntled motel guest, with these two creepy kids, was yelling at me about someone being drunk in the parking lot.

Dylan clearly had a HORRIBLE night of drinking, maybe even worse than me. He didn't even make it to the toilet to throw up. It was in his truck and on his clothes. It smelled awful. I keep thinking to myself how bad I feel for the motel cleaning crew. They are going to have a busy day cleaning up my puke, Dylan's puke — puke for days.

Anyways, clearly I had to get Norman to help me with Dylan, and then Norma came downstairs. I thought I was busted for sure. I mean, I slept with a guest of the motel, and it was 7 in the morning, and I probably looked disheveled and smelled horribly (and was wearing the same clothes from the day before). When she asked me what I was doing there — I thought I gave a pretty good answer — that the motel has been very busy, and I was just trying to help out, even on the weekend. She sort of brushed me off as if she had more on her mind, and I was happy about that. She didn't ask any more questions so I think my job is safe. I wonder if she believed me? I hope so.

Later, I was working in the office and I just felt this weird fear of running into Gunner. I didn't want him to see me or have to confront him. I didn't want to know what I did from the night before, because whatever happened -- clearly it wasn't good. Did we have sex? Did we not have sex? I just wasn't really ready to know the answer to that, at least not until later.

Then Cody came in to see Norman, and she was clearly upset with him. I never really got a good vibe from her. She was always getting into trouble and hanging out with the wrong crowd. Just doing things that high school girls shouldn't be doing. I find it weird that these girls sort of flock to Norman. It's not that I'm jealous or anything, I just find it odd that he doesn't see when he has a good thing right in front of him.

Back to Gunner. He is so amazing. Way more of a gentleman than I thought, especially for someone who sells drugs for a living, or weed. (Is weed considered a drug or a plant?) It turns out that we DIDN'T have sex. Thank god. And he helped me when I was puking everywhere and sick from all of the alcohol. He also told me that he really likes me, and that when we are ready to, you know, do it — he would be open to it.

So, I am very nervous, but in a good way. It's exciting to know that someone is into you the same way that you are into them, and he's willing to look past the oxygen tank and see me for who I really am.

Like I said — crazy day, guys.

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