My Life in Fast-Forward

...Birthdays are kind of the worst. The expectations and the attention. I don't even like cake. Don't judge me. I have a soul, I promise. That soul just happens to be committed to pie. And then there's the CF. A lot of people think that a birthday for me is this huge accomplishment and they make it weird, like a celebration, which ends up feeling more like a countdown than a count-up. I don't mean to be crabby about it; I guess it is a big deal. I don't know the statistics, but a lot of people who are in my boat never make it to seventeen. Did I mention I'm seventeen? It's funny, I feel like I deserve a much larger number.

My Recap Of Sixteen:

• Got my first job (which I LOVE) working the front desk at Bates Motel!
• Went to my first (and probably last) high school dance.
• Was humiliated in the love department (no comment - see previous posts - ugh).
• Got high off of a cupcake. (Do not take candy from strangers... no matter how cute they are.)
• And I FINALLY figured out my hair aka how to make it look less like a hat and more hair-shaped.
(This is a big one. Beauty has been a mystery to me for most of my life. Only having a dad has its limitations.)

My birthday always makes me think of my mom. She's just this big mystery to me. Where she is, what she's like, what I'd be like if she hadn't left. I see how close Norman and Norma are and I can't help but think if my mom was anything like Norma, maybe things would be a lot easier... the dance, the hair, the love department. But if sixteen taught me anything it's to not waste my time on "what ifs." So, in the spirit of staying positive, I'd like to say that the best bullet point on my recap list this year has to be:

• Norma. From meeting her and bonding over a shared dislike of a certain blonde popsicle stick, to her giving me my first job, and realizing that she's kind of my hero. I'm really lucky to have her in my surprisingly long life. :)

Can't wait to see what's to come for me this year. Stay tuned.