myule's blog

They Found Norman!

I was so happy to see him. Norma said that he had the stomach flu and was taken to the ER (which I thought was a little strange since I haven't heard of anything going around) but it felt like she was pushing me away, so I didn't ask any more questions. Norman looked a bit odd — definitely not his normal self. He didn't even really look at me when he was getting out of the car. It had to be more than just a flu. Right? I just went back to the office and sat there, annoyed, feeling again like I was on the outside looking in.

The next day, Norman gave me a ring on the phone. He said that he wanted me to bring him his notebook from the office. When I got upstairs, he was organizing his room or something.

Then he brought up The Tyger poem by William Blake. The poem that essentially began our friendship. The poem that reminded me how much we've been through together. Dammit, Norman! As hard as it is to try and get over him, I just can't.

Then he asked me why I decided to quit working at the motel, and I just felt at that moment that I needed to be as honest as possible. The Bates family is a very close family, and so much of me wants to be a part of that. I guess, with it just being me and my dad for so long, it was nice to be able to lean on some other people. Another family.

Norman was honest with me and told me something so private (sadly I can't say what it is here — trust me, you're better off not knowing) that it made sense to me why the family has been so tight lipped as of late. My heart literally dropped (well, not literally, but you know...) and Norman reassured me that Norma loves having me around, and that they want me to continue working at the motel. I said I needed to think about it, but I just can't imagine leaving this family now after what he told me.

Something else sort of bizarre happened the day after all of this. Norman came to the office and was in this weird, very somber mood. He said he was going to go for a walk in the woods. A few minutes later, Norma came rushing downstairs and asked where he went and then took off running after him. About 15 minutes later they came back from across the street hugging each other and in tears. I guess whatever they are going through is just taking its toll on them right now.

I've decided that, until the family gets their problems resolved, it's probably best for me to stop writing about them. Give them their privacy. I'm sure I'll be back on my blog game one day, but for a short while, I think I'm gonna give myself a writing break.

I'm So Depressed

The last few days were a train wreck of awfulness. I am sick of being stuck on the outside looking in. Apparently Norman is missing and they won't even let me know anything about it. That's crazy. We're friends. Even Sheriff Romero is up to something. I got a little testy with him and he told me that, “I should get some fresh air.” That's a seriously messed up thing to say to someone with cystic fibrosis. I wish I had one of those Free Mumia Abu-Jamal stickers on my tank. I would've loved to just raise that sucker up and point at it. I was so angry.

You may have guessed where all of this is leading. I put in my two weeks notice. I actually like working at the motel. I don't even want to quit, but I think of everyone as more than just coworkers and I just need something in return. I really wanted a reaction, or maybe I even fantasized that Norma would beg me to stay. She just thanked me and looked at me like I was a banana peel asking to not be thrown in the trash. I guess it is just part of life, something you have to learn to live with.

Who knows, maybe something will change. I did have a moment with Norma. I was closing up the hotel when she freaked out on George. I didn't hear everything, but she went off on him. Maybe he deserved it, but I think he may just be a nice guy caught in the Norma Bates jet stream. Anyways, George stormed out. I tried to comfort Norma, but she was inconsolable. I know it isn't just George. Something big is definitely going on.

Norma was Fishing for Info about the White Pine Bay criminal underbelly. Bad things are happening in town and a lot of people are on edge. She was desperate to find Dylan's warehouse. I was happy to help. It is thrilling to be in the know and on the inside for once. It isn't like Dylan's work is the biggest secret. Maybe I'll pick up a little extra intel in town, since people occasionally speak like I'm not even in the room.

I was pretty terrified when we drove over to the warehouse. The excitement I had before dissipated when I remembered that Norma can get a little intense. The warehouse isn't the type of place you just waltz in to, unless you're Norma of course. She just stormed right up like she owned the place. Maybe everyone already knew of her.

There can't be too many women in White Pine Bay as glamorous as Norma. I mean some of her dresses are just amazing. Pair that up with that classic Benz. She's like Eva Marie Saint or something. It must not be easy for Dylan to work with a bunch of trimmers when you have such a beautiful mom. I can just imagine the comments these guys are going to throw at him.

Anyways, Norma just bulldozed her way in. It must have all worked out. I tried to find out what was going on. She wouldn't get into specifics. You could tell that she was stressed, but I sensed maybe a bit of pride when I pressed her about what happened in the warehouse. Turns out that Dylan has an office. It is becoming apparent that he's certainly somebody in this town, but a lot of bad stuff seems to be happening to the somebodies. I hope he figures out how to survive it.

Norman's in Jail!


That was my reaction when my dad walked into my room the other day with the insane news. He said that he heard from one of the customers that came into the store that there was an accident at the Brennan house and that "new Bates kid" was responsible for pushing Cody's dad down a flight of stairs. Broken neck. Died right then and there. I couldn't believe it.

I grabbed my tank and ran out the door. I went straight to the police station where I ran into Norma pacing around the front of the building. I just felt so helpless. I needed to do something. Norma looked so distraught and scared. I don't know what I would do if my son were in jail for killing someone. I mean, I've never had a son, obviously, and don't know if I'll ever have time for it. (That's a different blog post.)

Anyways... she just looked messed up about it. My plan was to hang out and just wait it out with Norma. I thought Dylan would be there, but he was nowhere to be found. I was pissed about it. Why wouldn't he be there? Norma told me to go to the motel. The best way I could help them was to make sure all was quiet on the motel front. What could I do? I gave her a hug and left.

But not before I thought to pay Dylan a visit. We met at the sandwich truck on the pier. Not my choice. I told Dylan that he needs to be there to support his brother and his mother. And that whatever they are going through — all their drama — should be put aside to be together during this tough time. I got to a very angry place, because Norma is so sweet, and she doesn't deserve any of this. And I guess when you don't have a brother, and a mother that left you at a young age — you just don't take these things for granted. I regret it now, but I told him that “I wish I had a mother and brother that I could treat like shit.” OUCH! I think I was a bit hard on him.

After all of that, they finally let Norman out of jail. I checked up on him to make sure he was ok an it sort of just turned into an apology on my end. I guess Norman was really hurt that I told Norma about the blackouts. And I get it. I betrayed his trust in me. But it all came from a concerned place. I wanted to help Norman. He said that we are all good and that the police released him, but he wasn't sure what was going to happen. He wasn't mad at me anymore, and he was just happy that, through everything, I was still on his side. I believed him. I have to be in his corner.

All in all, I will always have love for Norman. We are always honest with one another and have been through WAY more than most friends will ever go through in two lifetimes.

I Took a Little Swim Today the river. It didn't really turn out as planned. Maybe I should save future plunges for the tropics.

It sucked, and, for the record, not diving in because of the temperature is completely valid. Obviously, I don't want people to think that I'm made of glass, but I'm apparently not made of adamantium, either.

I thought it couldn't get any more awkward than running into Norman making out with Cody, but having to get rescued was lame. Norman got pretty emotional. He really lit into Cody and Gunner. I guess it was probably unfair of him to yell at them like that, but I have to admit that it was nice to see that he cared. Is that weird?

I still don't know what to think of Gunner. And the whole Norman and Cody thing? She is so not right for him.

I Haven't Said Much

...about this because I wasn't sure if anything would come of it, but Gunner's back in town. Yup, the guy I had the crush on last year. I call him Cupcake Boy and he calls me Cupcake Girl. It's cute and ridiculous and... pretty freaking awesome.

Oh My God, I feel totally giddy. I almost can't believe this happened. I believe it because I keep thinking about it. It's all so easy with Gunner and happy and stress free. It's how this stuff should be. Not the way it has been in the past.

Okay so here it is. My big news. Gunner and I went on a date. A proper one. And then... we had sex.

There, I said it. I had sex with Gunner. It was awkward and messy and exciting and fun and strange and new, and it made me feel like I was a normal teenage girl getting to have the same experiences everyone else my age gets to have. I felt free. Like it was just me and this incredibly hot boy having fun.

I was completely nervous about it, between the stuff I read online and my own medical concerns, but Norma gave me some great advise that put all my fears at ease. And Gunner, he didn't rush me or make me feel weird that it was my first time. He was even cool when I told him I was a virgin. Not that I had a reason to think he wouldn't be, but you never know. But now I'm not.

Wow. I'm not! I'm different but in a good way. Like I'm doing the things in life I'm supposed to do and not letting anything hold me back.

It's how I need to act from now on -- just do what I want because life isn't going to wait for me, and I shouldn't be holding myself back either.

comments powered by Disqus